


What a Feeling

by arcadevia



Series: Comfort Fics [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, American Sign Language, Bipolar Disorder, Cuddling & Snuggling, Deaf Keith (Voltron), Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Depressive Episodes, Kissing, Lance (Voltron) Has Bipolar Disorder, M/M, Pillow Talk, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28337700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcadevia/pseuds/arcadevia
Summary: Lance used to overthink a lot of things once they started dating about a year ago. The face he saw cradled in his hands at 7am on a Saturday looked out of reach or unsure, he even thought he was losing Keith at one point.“That’s not true at all,”Hunk had told him.“I don’t really think you can notice it yourself, but sometimes it looks like you’re the only thing holding him together.”
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: Comfort Fics [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065521
Comments: 9
Kudos: 85





	What a Feeling

Sometimes Lance takes it upon himself to squish right up against Keith’s chest and grumble, just so his boyfriend will _feel_ his misery if he can’t particularly hear it. It’s given him plenty more reason to be creative when it comes to pestering. Dramatically groaning, or rolling over into Keith’s lap, even covering the man’s eyes so he has no choice but to pause in the midst of a task which is a dick move but it’s also kind of funny, like c’mon…

He knows sometimes his smartly planned blow will land off center and whatever annoyance readily thrown Keith’s way is actually something the other ends up not minding, maybe even enjoying. He’d just found out last week that his terrible habit of snoring actually… has not been left unnoticed, that Keith not only _knows_ but it also makes him huddle even closer because apparently being deaf turns this blatant inconvenience into uh…

“I’m not a cat!” he shrieks with a pinch of his fingers, affronted by the reminder of his supposed _purring_.

Keith’s eyes are only a twitch away from completely shutting at this point, and that along with the low blue of an early, early morning gives Lance all the more reason to know what he’d signed flew right over the other’s head.

‘Don’t care.’ Keith flicks his wrist. He shifts onto his back, the covers falling into a soft crumpled heap just below his chest. Bold streaks of his tattoos turn soft in the moonlight, along with the distant glow of a modest nightlight on the other side of the room.

He knows it’s early. Keith is tired. But he still bunches his fingers together and pecks at Keith’s loose lips. _Kiss_.

And it’d make more sense to just do it himself but his boyfriend knows him all too well, and in just a moment, his eyes flicker back open to where Lance hovers patiently above him.

Lance used to overthink a lot of things once they started dating about a year ago. Keith doesn’t smile much, at least not when it’s particularly expected, and he was always left wondering why a blissful morning together looked a lot less cheery on him than some stupid overheard (over-seen, technically) joke at the Lion’s Den. The face Lance saw cradled in his hands at 7am on a Saturday looked out of reach or unsure, he even thought he was losing Keith at one point.

_“That’s not true at all,”_ Hunk had told him, which is nice. It’s great to have a friend that talks some honest sense into him, especially throughout waves of mood swings that _really_ could’ve been avoided if taking medication didn’t feel as dreadful as finishing a towering stack of homework, or even a full cart of discarded books to put away at the library he works at. Just not fun.

Nonetheless, Hunk is there and it counts.

_“I don’t really think you can notice it yourself, but sometimes it looks like you’re the only thing holding him together.”_

He didn’t get it at first, honestly. It’s hard to explain that in the light of a disorder like this, you can’t just… just _understand_ or take a hint or miraculously overlook this shitty feeling that’s welled up inside you for the past week until you’re bed ridden from practically imaginative-induced despair, thoughts you otherwise wouldn’t even consider sans this awful mood. It seems so ridiculous and far fetched to everyone else that Lance wants to cry from embarrassment after talking about his feelings sometimes. He’s looking at himself and his impression in a warped mirror when his brain catches him slipping and suddenly one day turns into ten spent in a depressive slump.

His friends and family can tell him whatever holds true to them, but the hardest, most aggravating part of it all is knowing he’ll have to actually _let_ himself believe it.

He eventually does. When he’s stable and follows those alarm reminders and actually tells Keith about his worries even if it feels like he’s wearing a pathetic clown suit throughout it all. Keith loves him in ways that must feel so easily and selfishly overlooked when Lance doesn’t keep himself in this line of normal moods and emotions.

He looks at Lance like the stars, a sight that doesn’t necessarily provoke this thrilling smile when it rather sends your soul into peace. His stare is unwavering too; Lance is genuinely unsettled sometimes because Keith somehow absorbs everything said throughout his whole tornado of signs while he’s only looking straight ahead.

Lance has no other way to put it but— Keith isn’t _lost_ when they’re together, and he’s not really sure what being “found” in a relationship is like quite yet, but Keith is _safe_. The understanding of it shakes him from time to time because at his worst he’s felt like a monstrous burden, even when trying to recount all the _good_ times, all those moments are so easily infected when the misery grows comfortable.

He doesn’t know when it’s coming again, just that it’s inevitable and maybe this better grip on a support system will keep him from falling too low.

Keith looks at him quietly now like that's a promise. As freaky as his ability to follow conversations with a seamless stare, sometimes Lance feels like his boyfriend can read his mind. Of course, if that were true he’d be picked on a lot more for all the _“Goddamn he’s lookin fine as hell”_ type thoughts, only a _fraction_ of the amount of times Lance has actually said it. And even then the count for that is too high.

He gets his smooch eventually, once Keith levels him with a face of mild amusement before pulling Lance down cause he’s lazy and won’t bother leaning up in the slightest. Ugh. So terrible.

And yet Lance is smiling anyway, blessed from the warmth of Keith’s lips when it’s cold as hell this winter. It makes the rest of him shiver, and squirm impossible closer into the natural bubble of heat Keith somehow emits after one last peck.

He presses his fingertips into Keith’s bare side, chuckles at the twitch it causes even underneath the blanket. _‘ILY.’_ He curls his fingers for good measure, just so Keith will feel their impression.

_‘ILY too.’_ Keith’s own hand presses into the coldness of Lance’s shoulder, then slides down and up his back in an attempt to sooth away all those winter jitters.

_Not a cat,_ Lance thinks to himself as he shuts his eyes and settles at the crook of Keith’s neck. _But this isn’t so bad either._

**Author's Note:**

> I’d posted this to instagram and got enough feedback to feel pretty content, so here’s me throwing it out here on ao3!
> 
> Check out [my instagram](https://instagram.com/arcadevia?igshid=1glmskvy2ceb1) for exclusive fics and some oneshots posted in advance to what I might upload on here! <3


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